dropped at the first sign of trouble…

On a study break, I caught an episode of Two and a Half Men.  In it, one of the characters, Charlie, sleeps with his nephew’s teacher.  The teacher then believes that God told her that she was meant to be with Charlie, so she becomes obsessed with him and tries to develop a long term relationship with Charlie, who then tries to break it off with her, since all he wanted was to use her to his advantage.

It’s easy to see how promiscuity is rampant in the media with shows like this.  It’s also unfortunate that some people conduct themselves in a manner as if in this show.  Furthermore, it’s also unfortunate when two people seemingly get along and have a great relationship of some sort, but then one of the persons involved doesn’t want anything more than just friendship, especially when more than just friendship seemed incredibly likely.  In that case, what is the other partner to do?  Break it off?  Try to make something work?  There’s no clear cut answer to this, as I think that every situation is unique; however, I think there are some general principles to keep in mind if you’re the one that expected more.

1. Remember that you’re the one in control of your happiness, and not someone else.  Life always challenges us at some point.
2. Ask yourself: am I getting what I deserve, or am I short-changing myself?  In other words, am I wasting my time by being with someone who isn’t willing to care about me the way I care about him/her, the way I deserve to be cared about?
3. Would I rather live a lie, or live the truth?
4. What is it that I really want?  Maybe you can learn to be okay with just being friends.  Anything is possible down the road – just learn how to set appropriate expectations, or else you’re setting yourself up for hurt.

Ultimately, we’re all going to find ourselves as both the person wanting more, and the person not wanting more – I’ve been in both situations before.  It’s interesting to see how different people react in these situations in such varying ways, but it just goes to show you the uniqueness of every situation.  Therefore, the principles I just stated above may not even be relevant in every case.  It’s funny how relationships are – even social psychologists can’t explain everything.  Whoever does manage to create a be-all end-all theory for relationship dynamics certainly deserves the Nobel prize.

Hello again

It’s been a very long time since my last post.  Sometimes, things happen that you just don’t care to write about; other times, things happen that you know you should write about, but never actually do when the time comes down to it.  My last post was in the summer, and now it feels like it’s winter with all the snow outside.  It’ll be interesting to see where things are at one year from today.  All we can do though is have patience.