dropped at the first sign of trouble…

On a study break, I caught an episode of Two and a Half Men.  In it, one of the characters, Charlie, sleeps with his nephew’s teacher.  The teacher then believes that God told her that she was meant to be with Charlie, so she becomes obsessed with him and tries to develop a long term relationship with Charlie, who then tries to break it off with her, since all he wanted was to use her to his advantage.

It’s easy to see how promiscuity is rampant in the media with shows like this.  It’s also unfortunate that some people conduct themselves in a manner as if in this show.  Furthermore, it’s also unfortunate when two people seemingly get along and have a great relationship of some sort, but then one of the persons involved doesn’t want anything more than just friendship, especially when more than just friendship seemed incredibly likely.  In that case, what is the other partner to do?  Break it off?  Try to make something work?  There’s no clear cut answer to this, as I think that every situation is unique; however, I think there are some general principles to keep in mind if you’re the one that expected more.

1. Remember that you’re the one in control of your happiness, and not someone else.  Life always challenges us at some point.
2. Ask yourself: am I getting what I deserve, or am I short-changing myself?  In other words, am I wasting my time by being with someone who isn’t willing to care about me the way I care about him/her, the way I deserve to be cared about?
3. Would I rather live a lie, or live the truth?
4. What is it that I really want?  Maybe you can learn to be okay with just being friends.  Anything is possible down the road – just learn how to set appropriate expectations, or else you’re setting yourself up for hurt.

Ultimately, we’re all going to find ourselves as both the person wanting more, and the person not wanting more – I’ve been in both situations before.  It’s interesting to see how different people react in these situations in such varying ways, but it just goes to show you the uniqueness of every situation.  Therefore, the principles I just stated above may not even be relevant in every case.  It’s funny how relationships are – even social psychologists can’t explain everything.  Whoever does manage to create a be-all end-all theory for relationship dynamics certainly deserves the Nobel prize.

Hello again

It’s been a very long time since my last post.  Sometimes, things happen that you just don’t care to write about; other times, things happen that you know you should write about, but never actually do when the time comes down to it.  My last post was in the summer, and now it feels like it’s winter with all the snow outside.  It’ll be interesting to see where things are at one year from today.  All we can do though is have patience.

Homemade pull-up bar!

Just got this installed. It’s a doorway pull-up bar mounted to the basement ceiling rafters with aircraft aluminum. I can finally do pull-ups at home!

how to lose 10 pounds in a week… for real

I lost 10 pounds in one week. Yes, a lot of that was probably water weight, but I also know that I’ve been able to maintain this new weight for a while now, ever since that one week trip to Vancouver. It seems like it’s going to stay off, and I looked more defined than before. How did I do it? Simple.

Diet:
Because I was travelling, my diet basically consisted of very small meals, and only on average twice a day. I made sure I got enough water, calcium, and fibre. So a typical breakfast would have been a cup of yogurt with All Bran Buds mixed in with a banana and water. Later in the day I would have a small six inch dry (ie. no sauces) sub, whatever the sub of the day was, with all the veggies (ie. the works) from Subway, with chocolate milk. Throughout the day I’d be sipping water. I’d also have coffee here and there. That’s it. I didn’t even get hungry.

Exercise:
I was basically on my feet all day touring what Vancouver has to offer. Four out of the seven days I was there, I went for very high-paced tempo runs on average of 1 hour 40 minutes. Three out of the seven days, I would workout for an hour at the YMCA, doing weight training and a lot of calisthenics (ie. pull-ups, dips, abs/core work).

And that’s it. So if you’re looking to lean up and slim down in a big damn hurry, now you know how to (or at least, one way how to). Try this for a week if you dare!

update to Tim’s funeral

Those WBC protesters, they never even showed up!  The following is a letter of thanks from the organizers of the supporters of the funeral.

Thanks to everyone who came out today to show their support.

The day was a success: We had a great turn out – likely upwards of 400 people. 

And the Westboro group (WBC) did not show their faces once!

All who gathered today were extremely calm, collected, and peaceful. Most of all, everyone was so respectful – of each other, of the church area, of the family, and the police.

It was amazing to see so many people standing for hours in the hot sun, yet remaining cheerful (some people even walked back and forth passing out free Timbits – thanks guys!) and vigilant. Many remained for over four hours until after the funeral had ended to make sure that even if Westboro group showed up at the very last minute, there would still be enough people ready to form a “human chain” to protect the family. Finally, as a number of the funeral attendees walked out of the church and down the street, the crowd gathered held a respectful moment of silence.

At one point, just before the funeral service, some of the friends and family of the McLeans came out and walked down the long line of people gathered along the sidewalks around the church. They shook hands and thanked the crowd for being there and showing support. It was an incredibly moving moment. Hearing their thanks meant so much.

Thanks to all of you non-Winnipeggers from around Canada and the rest of the world for showing your support for the McLean family and for our actions on their behalf today!

Like James Cotton, Raymond Henry, and many others who have already commented today, I was extremely proud to stand outside today with my fellow Winnipeggers/Canadians in this act of resistance and support. Our actions as a community today showed that “the forces that tend for evil are great and terrible, but the forces of truth and love and courage and honesty and generosity and sympathy are also stronger than ever before” (Theodore Roosevelt).

~
Amalia

…if good men do nothing?

It’s been about a month since I’ve last posted a blog entry, but something so outrageous has prompted me to come out of hibernation.  You undoubtedly know about the Greyhound incident in Manitoba.  Well, Tim McLean’s funeral is slated for tomorrow in my home city and guess what…  members of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) plan on protesting the funeral.  These whackjobs thank their god for what happened to Tim.  From their website:

I cannot understand how people can be so insensitive and just downright insane to do such a thing.  The WBC is notorious for also picketing at funerals of American soldiers.  Just watch a WBC member try to defend her cause… with that stupid grin:

These people need to be stopped at the border from entering our wonderful country of Canada.

Protest Against The Westboro Baptist Church Attending Tim McLean’s Funeral.

Red Wine vs. Welch’s Grape Juice?

We all by now have heard that a glass of red wine daily has some health benefits.  Now, who would’ve thought that we could get the same benefits by drinking grape juice?  The following article is from CNN.

Wine or Welch’s? Grape juice provides

healthbenefits without alcohol

March 31, 2000

By Peter Jaret

(WebMD) — Even the most heartening news about the health benefits of wine wasn’t enough to convince Susan Sanford to imbibe. “I’ve just never liked the taste of alcohol,” says Sanford, 42, a film sound engineer in Northern California. “Still, with all the headlines, you can’t help wondering whether you’re missing out on something that might lower your risk of heart disease.”

Well, Susan Sanford, worry no more. If you don’t like wine, the latest studies show you can get almost all the same benefits from grape juice. The reason: Purple grape juice contains the same powerful disease-fighting antioxidants, called flavonoids, that are believed to give wine many of its heart-friendly benefits.

What’ll it be: Wine or Welch’s?

The flavonoids in grape juice, like those in wine, have been shown to prevent the oxidation of so-called bad cholesterol (LDLs, or low-density lipoproteins) that leads to formation of plaque in artery walls.

In a study published in 1999 in the journal Circulation, researchers at the University of Wisconsin Medical School in Madison asked 15 patients who already showed clinical signs of cardiovascular disease — including plaque-constricted arteries — to drink a tall glass of grape juice daily. After 14 days, blood tests revealed that LDL oxidation in these patients was significantly reduced. And ultrasound images showed changes in the artery walls, indicating that their blood was flowing more freely.

Grape juice can also lower the risk of developing the blood clots that lead to heart attacks, according to unpublished findings from Georgetown University researcher Jane Freedman, M.D. So can red wine, but in this case grape juice is the more practical way to go: “Wine only prevents blood from clotting (when it’s consumed) at levels high enough to declare someone legally drunk,” says University of Wisconsin researcher John Folts, Ph.D. “With grape juice, you can drink enough to get the benefit without worrying about becoming intoxicated.”

What’s more, alcoholic drinks don’t seem to improve the function of cells in blood vessel linings the way grape juice does. And alcohol generates free radicals — unstable oxygen molecules that can actually cause damage to blood vessel tissues — dampening any of the benefits that red wine’s antioxidants may offer.

Longer-lasting protection

Even better news, for Sanford and other teetotalers, is that the antioxidants in grape juice appear to linger in the body longer than do those in wine.

At the University of California, Davis, researchers took a 1996 cabernet sauvignon, removed all the alcohol, and asked a group of nine volunteers to alternate between drinking the nonalcoholic wine one day and an alcoholic version the next. In their findings, reported in the January 2000 issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, a key antioxidant called catechin remained in the blood for more than 4 hours after the volunteers drank the nonalcoholic wine, compared to only 3.2 hours for the full-strength cabernet. Apparently, alcohol hastens the breakdown of the antioxidant in the blood, speeding its elimination from the body.

But wine may provide at least one benefit grape juice doesn’t: Alcohol has been shown to increase levels of HDL, the so-called good cholesterol, in the blood.

Even so, if you’re a non-drinker, grape juice is a terrific way to get many of wine’s potential health benefits, Folts says. If you do go for the juice, choose the purple kind, which is far richer in antioxidant flavonoids than red or white. Surprisingly, eating red table grapes won’t provide as much protection. That’s because the juice is made by crushing not just the skin and flesh but the seeds, too, which are especially rich in flavonoids. White grapes and grape juice won’t do either, because they don’t contain the flavonoids that purple or red grapes do.

Sanford can now rest assured. With a glass of purple grape juice with breakfast or for an afternoon snack, her heart can realize the same benefits as those of her wine-drinking friends. And if you don’t want wine at dinner, uncork one of the fine nonalcoholic reds on the market. They’re loaded with antioxidants as well as great flavor — and you can drink all you like without worrying about driving home.

New Day, New Post!

First of all, Happy Canada day to all my fellow canucks.  I haven’t posted anything in a whole month.  I don’t know if I should attribute that to laziness or what, but here I am again.  It’s a beautiful day outside, almost too hot!  Get outside!

wedding day!

Today my sister gets married, and I’ll be emceeing the reception. So many of my friends are getting married, or have recently gotten married that it seems like it’s the socially expected thing to do. From my social psychology studies, I’ve learned that all of us engage in what’s called social comparison. According to the social comparison theory, we’re always comparing our own situation and status to that of others, in order to gauge how well (or not so well) we’re doing in life. Such comparison is unavoidable and happens naturally. Healthy individuals are able to accurately gauge their own situation; whereas, unhealthy minds seemingly become frustrated and down when they cannot accept their own situation in comparison to others. Often such people don’t actually realize how good they have it, and are blind to the fact that they still have good lives – they have food, shelter, friends… whereas millions of people around the world go hungry and starve every single day.

50 Reasons